What is the point in bitchiness? It doesn't solve anything.
People judge each other all the time without getting to know each other first. Why? Is it their clothes? Their hair? Their make up?
I have to admit I often sit in the pub with my friends and check out other peoples outfit choices. That doesn't mean to say that I turn to my friends and say "look at what she's wearing, that must mean she is a horrible person" NO. More often than not I will check out someone's outfit, turn to my friends and be like "Oh my Gosh I love her shoes" (99% of time its the shoes I notice first) or "Oh wow I love her top" or "Wow I wouldn't have thought of putting that together but it looks awesome". That doesn't mean I judge their personality! Or whether or not they are a nice person!!
I tend to avoid saying things behind peoples backs. If someone is annoying me on a particular day I will tend to avoid them rather than be super sweet to their face.
It annoys me how much people moan to me about other people that I am friends with. If you don't like that person or they have done something to annoy you I won't tell the other person - I hate people that tell someone that someone has said about them. It's unnecessary. It causes unwanted tension between those people and you look like a total snitch bitch and you completely go against their trust. They confide in you with the expectation you won't tell anyone else, especially the person of topic, the worst thing you could do is tell other people. It makes you worse than the person doing the bitching. So, by all means, tell me who, what, why but don't expect me to join in bitching about my friend.
The worst I'll say to someone else is "*** is driving me nuts today, I'm just gonna stay out of their way" and then I'll leave it at that. There is no point in bitching. It just makes you bitter. And it also makes other people worried about what you say about them behind their backs, even if you don't, and they may not think they can fully trust you.
A lot of the time bitchiness is caused by someone talking about someone else without knowing all the details. They'll say that someone did something and it will turn out they did something else.
What I am saying is instead of talking about each other, talk to each other, spend the time in getting to know others instead of wasting your breath on things that really don't matter. Yeah you may feel annoyed, but that feeling will soon pass, there is no point in making things so much worse by bitching and moaning. It can cause so much hurt and upset for not just the other person but for yourself as well. There is no point in making yourself unhappy over nothing for longer than necessary when life should be spent living and feeling happy xx
Life is not a fairytale. It is not a movie or a book. It is reality.
That does not mean there should be no sweet soppy romance that makes you go weak at the knees or even makes you feel slightly nauseated if it isn't a relationship that is 50% you.
I am not in a relationship myself, that doesn't mean I don't like romance and I'm anti love. It just means that right now I am not with anyone for reasons that are not worth getting into.
Relationships also shouldn't be one sided. There is so many expectations for the guy to sweep the girl off her feet and be romantic while the girl just sits there and accepts it. Girls should also do things to make their partner feel special and loved. Relationships are about give and take not just all take.
Yes for us girls it would be nice to be spoiled with things, you see images of a guy buying a girl an entire outfit and leaving it out for her with a note to be ready at a certain time, or a boot full of gifts, but that doesn't mean that the girls shouldn't do things in return or just out of the blue not just because you feel you need to return the favour.
And romance isn't about buying things either. It is about doing things for each other. For example making a favourite meal or complimenting each other. Small things mean a lot. More often than not it's the small things that matter most. Yeah the big gestures are amazing as one off. But a compliment here and there can make a huge difference to your partners day. Or cooking their favourite meal and setting it out with candles or even just running a bath for your other half.
You also shouldn't expect things from your partner. Expectations of romance can kill a relationship. If you expect your partner to do something romantic for you and they don't it can cause serious problems in a relationship.
Men and women have different opinions of romance, while a female may see PDA as romantic, a male may see doing a small chore without being asked as a romantic act for their partner. People who expect romance may miss the small things their partner does for them that they may actually have considered romantic.
One thing that would never fail to brighten someone's day is a love letter. I don't mean a quick text or email I mean a hand written, pen on paper, folded neatly into an envelope type of love letter. One that your partner can hold in their hands. One where you can see the effort that went into writing down your feelings rather than a text.
People don't seem to write letters any more. It is all just done over technology. No proof of the real effort that went into writing down what you're thinking and feeling.
I'm not saying that receiving a nice text won't make someone's day. Just a simple text first thing when you wake up just saying "good morning" will brighten anyone's day. It shows that you thought about them when you woke up and that means a lot to people. A simple goodnight also shows that you thought about them just before you went to sleep. Sometimes the simple texts are the ones that show your feelings more. I'm not saying don't write down your feelings in a text. Writing how you feel for someone will put a smile on their face for sure. But a hand written love letter would be more appreciated.
Especially for those in long distance relationships. A text and phone call is essential for keeping the relationship alive, but a long hand written love letter that the other person receives through the door that they can physically hold would mean so much more.
Romance just doesn't seem to occur in the big gestures/hand written love letter way very often any more. So much so that films and books gesture to it. Which shows that it is becoming the normality of this generation. Films like Beastly among others.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that you should love with all your heart, but more importantly, show it. You can tell someone a million times that you love them, but if you don't show it they won't believe it.
If you miss someone. Tell them. If you love someone. Tell them. Show them. If you don't you never know what you may miss out on. And there is no point in wondering what if and regretting the chances you didn't take. Take a risk. Love freely. Learn from your experiences. Learn from your mistakes. Improve with what you've learnt. And if that relationship doesn't work out, move on. Take your what you've learnt from your experiences to your new relationship and improve. Don't live in the past. Don't live in the future. Live in the here and now. If you don't you never know what may pass you by xx
The thing is, people don't know how to talk to each other any more.
It's really actually quite sad, so many friendships and relationships fall apart over the lack of communication. People stop talking, stop calling, stop texting and become strangers once again. It's rare to have many people that you can stop talking to for months and months and it being the same as before. Yeah some people you can stop talking to for a few days or weeks and you meet up and have a good catch up. But if it's a really long time, and you're really good friends maybe even best friends, when you meet up you may even feel like you barely know the person you're sitting in front of, the person who you once were really close to.
So what I am saying is pick up your phone. Text someone who means a lot to you, or someone you were once close to, or someone you still are close to but haven't spoken to in a few days/weeks. I have. And I will again. Because I don't want to lose touch with the special people in my life who do mean a great deal to me.
Don't wait around waiting for someone to message you, there's a chance they're waiting for you to message them.
If you miss someone, anyone, pick up the phone, give them a call, send them a text. What if they miss you too?
Keeping in touch with each other is important. Even if you can't meet up with someone keep in touch.
Just one quick text, call or email can make such a difference. It tells the person you haven't forgotten about them. No matter how far apart you are.
I've seen friendships and relationships die from lack of communication. My own and those of others close to me. So I'm going to make sure I change that. I won't let it happen again. I've learnt from my mistakes. I'm going to be brave and take the first step in messaging people I haven't spoken to in a while. There are people in my life who I don't want to lose and I'm going to make sure I keep in contact with them so that it does not happen.
If you miss someone. Tell them. If you want to see someone. Make it happen. Like I said in my last post. Life is too short. Make the most of it. There's no point worrying about the what ifs. xx
There has been a lot that has happened lately that has made me realise just how short life is. So make the most of the time that you have.
There is no point in wasting time over silly little things, like not having the latest phone, the latest clothes or even if a certain guy/girl likes you or not. If things are meant to be they will be. There are bigger things out there that should take up your time.
Life shouldn't be wasted worrying - it should be spent exploring the world, spending time with your friends and family - you should be having fun and being happy!
In the last few weeks a few people I have known through others have tragically been taken from our lives. One tragic event that has really stuck with me is a fatal motorbike accident which happened a little under three weeks ago. Two young guys had been out for a group ride with a few others to Devils Dyke. On the way home their bikes collided with a land rover at a junction. It resulted in the loss of the two young lives of Luke Power and Tom Dawes. Two best friends who were taken from their friends and families in such an awful way at such a young age. They were only nineteen and twenty. Now I didn't know them personally, but a few of my close friends did, and I did have the pleasure of meeting them once or twice. They were both lovely lads who didn't deserve to lose their lives so young.
This one really stuck with me as I woke up on the morning of Monday 7th September to my Facebook news feed totally full with grieving friends of these two guys. It took me a while to realise what was going on but when I did it was a total shock. I drove to work in silence that morning. Which for those who actually know me is something pretty unheard of, my music is usually blasting for everyone to hear.
It's in the aftermath of tragic events like these that make you realise just how fragile and precious life is. It makes you realise just how mortal all us humans are. You never know what is going to happen later that day let alone tomorrow or next week.
This post wasn't meant to be depressing in any way. The point of my post is:
make the most of life
Life is short. But it is the longest thing you'll ever experience. So enjoy it. There is no point in wishing it away. One day you'll wake up and regret all the negative thoughts willing life to hurry up. You'll wish you had lived more and had more fun.
Don't put things off until tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. Do them today.
Don't be afraid to try new things. Don't be afraid to grow up. You learn as you grow so make the most of it.
Experience happiness, sadness, hurt and anger. But don't let things get you too down. There's always another brighter day. Remember everyone has down days. You've just got to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and tell yourself you're stronger than you think. You'll be okay. Honest.
So. Live a little. Laugh a lot. Love as much as you can. And above all - be happy! xx
So I've been wanting to write a blog for a long time but never seem to get to it. So I thought now would be a good time to start. I started one last year but I never kept up with it. So I'm going to do my best now.
I won't dive into personal issues too much. I save that for my own little journal I keep hidden in my room - saying that though I frequently go weeks without writing anything at all. This blog however I am going to try and keep up with and hopefully post at least twice a week. I mean I have got my Tumblr account which obviously can't be classed as a blog but I am horrifyingly obsessed with it at the moment. That little re-blog button is awfully addicting. I have however just deactivated my Facebook account. It was beginning to ruin my life a little bit. Seeing what other people are doing and all I am doing is working.
Sometimes I find people overbearing. I can't deal with needy or clingy people - not just boyfriends (which I am lacking at the moment - Thankfully in some ways..) but friends in general. I am not the kind of person that has to be in contact with someone 24/7. I like my space. I like being alone. That being said I do enjoy going out with friends every week. I just don't feel I have to talk to each one of them all the time that I don't see them. Therefore airplane mode on my phone is an absolute Godsend. I'm not ignoring anyone. Just need time to breathe and be myself.
I am determined to keep up with this blog and to make it my happy place. I am going to work my ass off and get to where I want to be. One day I'm going to leave this small town and make something of my life and live how I want to, not how others tell me I should.
This blog is not meant for a place to me to reveal my deepest darkest feelings and secrets. This blog has been made as a place for positive thinking and happiness.
Chin up. Enjoy xx
